Identity Crisis
by Owl
Summary: Formerly entitled I Didn't Want To. Jondy finds Zack. Or is it Adam? A ZJ fic, post-Some Assembly Required.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel. If I did, Zack wouldn't have to put up with this Terminator wannabe crap. Anyhoo, I'm not making any money off this either, much as I wish I were. But reviews would be nice. Very, very nice.

Spoilers: "Some Assembly Required"

Author's Notes: This might turn out AU later, but for the moment, the only discrepancy is that the setting in the fic is a farm, not a ranch. I read an incorrect spoiler (which is why you should never believe them), so that's why. But I don't think -- or at least, I hope that it won't take anything away from the story. I don't know how I'm gonna divide what I have into chapters, but it'll be longer than this from now on. Promise.

.

New Author's Note: It's official, people, I'm back! :-) Anyhoo, this is 98% "I Didn't Want To" with a few amendments here and there. The main difference is that this version will actually be updated, unlike its predecessor. Enjoy, and please review on your way out!

...

Lots of trees, endless blue skies... Ideal for someone looking to get away from the urban lifestyle. Except that Jondy wasn't. She had been just fine with her city life, thank you so much, and it was not her fault that some tabloid had written something about mutants with barcodes, and that she happened to have one, thus costing her everything she had worked so hard for.

Not only that, but it was harder to blend into a small town. Everyone knew everyone else, as well as everyone's family history, up to and including any ancestors that had been on the Mayflower. At least it looked like the law enforcement wouldn't be anything to worry about. Even if they were suspicious of a girl who actually owned a motorized vehicle. Okay, maybe "owned" was the wrong word, but still.

She sped past a field where farmers were doing...whatever farmers do. Besides milk cows. Then she came to a screeching halt, nearly wrecking her precious bike, and zoomed back. She leaned her baby against the fence, mentally apologizing to it for the maltreatment, and took her shades off, setting them on her head. Then she used her telescopic vision to focus on the face of one of farmers.

What she was seeing refused to register.

"No way."

It was Zack.


	2. Imposter

"Can I help you, miss?"

Jondy whirled around. She had been so distracted by the sight of Zack in this backwater, she hadn't even heard him approach. Not good. She had to keep her head in the game.

The man addressing her was stout and friendly looking, dressed in overalls and a flannel shirt. "Um…I…uh…think something's wrong…with my…motorcycle."

_Well, _that_ was brilliant._

"Well, if you'd like, we can take it out back and have a look at it," the man offered.

Jondy smiled faintly. "Thank you. I'd appreciate that."

The man held out his hand. "Name's Buddy."

She shook his hand. "Jon--Janie." His palm was callused, the sign of a man who worked for a living. She liked him instantly.

"Well, Janie, let's take your bike out back and see what we can do." He started off.

She waited until he was out of sight. Then she whispered, "I'm sorry," and proceeded to trash her motorcycle until it looked rather pathetic. She took a step back and surveyed the damage. _Inoperable, but repairable_, she decided.

She wheeled her bike along the path the man had designated, murmuring, "I'm sorry, baby. I'll never do it again. But I had to do something. Please forgive me."

"You do know you're talking to a motorcycle, right?" a familiar voice inquired.

She spun around to face the speaker, intending to remind him that he had talked to plenty of motorcycles in his time. She stopped when something told her that this wasn't the Zack she knew. She searched his face; there was no sign of recognition. Just a warm, open smile that even reached his eyes. Zack was neither warm nor open. So who the hell was this imposter?

"I…it's a habit of mine," she said finally. Then she changed subjects. "Um, Buddy said that he might be able to help me fix my bike." She gestured to her motorcycle, which was still looking pretty pitiful.

Zack-who-wasn't-Zack nodded. "Buddy's a good man."

"He is," she agreed. "Not many people would help a stranger off the street." Then she added, as afterthought, holding out her hand, "I'm Janie."

He shook her hand and answered, "I'm Adam."

_Adam?_

There was a moment of silence, then he offered, "Here, let me take that for you."

Too dazed to refuse, she let him, and followed him around back. There, they found Buddy waiting with a toolbox. He smiled. "I see you two have met each other." Looking at the motorcycle, he frowned. "Huh. It didn't look that bad before."

Jondy didn't say anything.

Buddy knelt by the bike and inspected it, occasionally muttering things like "Hm… Well, that's not too bad…" and so on. Finally, he looked up and said, "You're gonna need a new carburetor. What'd you do to this poor bike anyway?"

"I…saw a deer run into the middle of the road, and I didn't want to hit it, so I swerved and…crashed into a tree, and, well…you know the rest," she ended lamely.

They seemed to accept her story. Which was good, because she couldn't think of a better one. "Well," Buddy said finally, "can't get a new carburetor around here, we're gonna have to go into town for it. It's too late to go now, but we can go first thing in the morning. In the meantime," he continued, "you can stay here."

Stay here? In the middle of nowhere? But how could she refuse? Besides, this would give her an opportunity to find out what was going on with Zack.

"Thank you," she said at last, hoping she sounded adequately grateful.

"Do you have anything else with you?" Buddy asked kindly.

She shook her head. "Nope. Just me, my motorcycle, and I."

"All right." He turned to Not Zack. "Adam, why don't you take her inside and ask Mary to get her something to eat."

'Adam' nodded. "Follow me," he said to Jondy.

She said thank you again to Buddy and hurried to catch up with Zack/Adam's loping stride.

"So where are you from?" he asked Jondy.

"At the moment, Seattle. I move around a lot," she added as way of explanation.

They entered the house, 'Adam' graciously holding the door open for her. "Mary!" he called.

A plump, middle-aged woman came bustling out of another room. "Yes, dear?" she asked. Upon seeing Jondy, she asked, "My, who's this lovely young lady?"

__

Are these people for real?

"I'm Janie," she said with a smile. It was with some shock that she realized they were, in fact, for real. Hard to believe, but true.

"Her bike broke down," 'Adam' explained, "and Buddy said that she could stay here until he fixed it."

"Why, certainly," Mary said, beaming. "I'll go fix up the guestroom."

She exited the room, humming to herself, leaving 'Adam' and Jondy alone in the kitchen. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"So…" they said at the same time.

Finally, Jondy asked, "Is there a bathroom around here?"

"Around the corner to your left," he answered.

"Thanks." She stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

Owl's Note: Sort of anticlimactic, I know, but I didn't want one chapter to be bordering on novel-length. Next chapter will be awesome for people who have been PO'd at how stupid Max and Logan have been acting during the show, especially in "Some Assembly Required." Thanks for putting up with me thus far while I get through all the boring stuff. *g*


	3. Not My Thing

...  
  
She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her long blonde hair framed a soft face, and her eyes were an amazing combination of gray, green, and blue. Since she was from the city, he had expected her to be more sophisticated, more arrogant. But instead...it was just her. Janie. He felt like he knew her somehow. And it was possible, wasn't it? He still didn't remember anything before the accident, and his memories hadn't exactly been forthcoming.  
  
...  
  
'Adam' looked up as she re-entered the kitchen. She was still a little out of it, and it must have shown on her face, because he said with a smile, "Feeling a little overwhelmed?"  
  
She returned his smile hesitantly and answered, "Just a little. Wide open spaces are not my thing." She sat down across from him, but didn't say anything else. Honestly, she couldn't think of anything else to say. So there was more uncomfortable silence. Then Mary returned, still as lively as before.  
  
"Dearie," she chirped, "would you like something to eat?"  
  
Jondy blinked. Too many cheerful people in too short a time. She was getting a headache. She played the woman's words over and over in her head until they made sense.  
  
"I would...love something...to eat."  
  
Was that the right response? She assumed it was, because the woman beamed even more. "Well then, what would you like?"  
  
"Anything would be great. I'm not picky." And she wasn't, either. She could remember a few times when she couldn't even identify what she was eating.  
  
Whatever it was Mary put it front of her, she ate every bit of it and then some. Mary looked mildly surprised by her appetite as she put a second helping down in front of her. "Dear me, when was the last time you ate?"  
  
Jondy thought about it. "Lunch yesterday. I was sort of in a hurry to get out of Seattle," she explained between bites. She left out the fact that the 'meal' had been a few slices of pizza that had tasted like cardboard anyway. She was willing to bet the box would have tasted better. She had almost eaten it, too, before she realized what she was doing.  
  
Mary seemed shocked. "Goodness! No wonder you're so hungry. You must be starving!"  
  
Jondy shook her head. "Nah, I can hold out for two weeks before I'm really starving." She looked up, caught their confused looks, and went back to the food.  
  
Eating's safe, talking isn't. So shut up, Jondy.  
  
When she finished, she stood up and carried her dishes over to the sink. She had been so used to cleaning up after herself, it had become automatic. She didn't even realize what she was doing until Mary said kindly, "You don't have to do that, dear."  
  
Startled, Jondy stammered, "Oh, I, um...it's okay. I don't mind."  
  
Once she had dried the dishes and laid them on the sideboard, she asked, "Do cellphones work out here?" She was only being partly sarcastic.  
  
'Adam' and Mary exchanged looks. "Well, I don't rightly know," Mary said at last. "I've never tried it."  
  
Of course she hadn't. This was the middle of nowhere, after all.  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to make a call."  
  
Mary nodded. "Go right ahead."  
  
Jondy stepped outside and kept walking until she was out of earshot. Then she whipped out her cellphone and dialed Logan's number. Call it a hunch, but she thought he might have some idea about what was going on. She would have called Max, but she spent most of her time at Logan's anyway.  
  
There was static galore, but at least it was better than nothing.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Logan, it's Jondy."  
  
"Hey, what's up?" She could hear him typing madly at his keyboard.  
  
"I'm in Oregon, out in the middle of nowhere." The typing stopped. "And do you know who else is here?"  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"Zack," he said with a sigh.  
  
"You know about this?" She didn't even try to hide the accusation in her voice.  
  
Another sigh. "It's a long story." Then he realized something. "Wait, why'd you leave Seattle?"  
  
This time it was Jondy who sighed. They were doing a lot of sighing. "It's a long story. There was a little trouble with the authorities."  
  
"What kind of trouble?"  
  
"No," Jondy said firmly. "I'm not answering any of your questions until you answer mine. What is he doing down here dressed like John Wayne? And why doesn't he recognize me?"  
  
Logan relented, albeit reluctantly. "A while ago, when you were in Canada, he got captured and taken back to Manticore."  
  
"Again? Damn, he's really gotta stop doing that," Jondy remarked, more to herself than to him.  
  
"He was used as an organ donor for other transgenics. They kept him alive by replacing his organs with biosynthetic ones. Then, somehow, he got out. Probably when the facility in Wyoming burnt to the ground. But he suffered severe memory loss from a shot to the head. As far as I know, he doesn't remember anything since it happened."  
  
"Nothing? Not me, not Manticore...nothing?"  
  
"Nothing," Logan confirmed. "But the doctor says he might recover some things."  
  
"That still doesn't explain what he's doing here."  
  
"It's for his own safety."  
  
"How do you figure?"  
  
"When he was here, after what happened, he tried to kill me. Then his memory was wiped clean again, and we decided it would be best for him to have a normal life, or at least some semblance of it." She noticed he didn't mention how his memory had been "wiped clean" a second time.  
  
"Sounds like you were more worried for your safety than his," she remarked dispassionately.  
  
"And who's 'we'?"  
  
"Max and I."  
  
"Really..." Jondy was careful to keep her anger in check. "Is she there?"  
  
"Yeah. Hold on a sec."  
  
She heard the phone being passed, then Max's voice. "Hello?"  
  
"What the fuck were you thinking, Maxie?"  
  
"What? What are you talking about, Jondy?"  
  
"Zack, that's what. He can't even remember his own name, and he's stuck with a bunch of people who don't know shit about self-protection if White decides to come after him."  
  
She heard her sister swear under her breath. "Did he recognize you?"  
  
"No. Not yet." Suddenly she exploded. "Jesus Christ, Max! How can you just play God like that?"  
  
"It wasn't easy," her sister said softly.  
  
"Look, if you're expecting any sympathy from me, forget it. You had no right to do what you did."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry."  
  
"Sorry? 'Sorry' won't bring back his memory." Jondy shook her head in disgust. "Give the phone back to Logan. I have to talk to him." She waited a few seconds. "Logan?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm here."  
  
"Do Buddy and Mary know the truth about him?"  
  
"They know he needs to be protected."  
  
"Do they know how to do it?" Silence. "I didn't think so."  
  
"Do they know who you are?" Logan asked finally.  
  
"No. They think I'm just a girl from the city whose bike broke down out in the middle of nowhere."  
  
"Keep it that way."  
  
"Don't even think about ordering me around, Logan--"  
  
"If Zack finds out who you are, it might trigger more memories than he can handle. Or than you can handle, for that matter."  
  
"What, you don't think he'll figure out he's different once he realizes he can see in the dark and hear a hundred times better and move a hundred times faster than the norms can?" She exhaled impatiently. "I have to stay here overnight, anyway. My motorcycle needs a new carburetor, and I have to get that in town."  
  
"Fine. But don't say anything."  
  
"Logan, he needs someone to look out for him. If White finds him, and he will, they'll all die," Jondy said urgently. Why the hell couldn't he understand? He didn't help Zack, he endangered him. Fuck.  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"Yeah, you do that," she snapped bitterly. "You've done a bang-up job so far." She hung up.  
  
...


	4. Doing So Well

An Overdue Thank You: I would just like to thank my awesome beta, Anna, for putting up with me while I sent her bits and pieces. You're the best!

~~~

That night, she went exploring. She didn't like being in unfamiliar territory, even if that "territory" was Old MacDonald's farm. She found her motorcycle in a makeshift garage, alongside a tractor.

Next to the garage were the stables. She entered cautiously, looking around. Immediately, she was confronted by a pair of large brown eyes and a long muzzle poking out over the stall door. The horse whickered and nuzzled her shoulder. She laughed and petted it, stroking the horse's sleek mane while its tail swished from side to side.

The horse was a beautiful palomino, golden with a white mane and tail. Jondy had always had a knack with animals, but her favorites were cats and horses. And this one certainly was a beauty. A label taped on the front of the stall read, "Sunshine." Well, that was definitely appropriate.

Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her and turned, her hand still buried in Sunshine's mane. Zack -- Adam -- was standing there, looking sheepish. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I thought I heard someone down here."

"It's okay. I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

He walked up to Sunshine's stall and stood beside Jondy, looking at the mare. "She likes you," he remarked, smiling.

"Well, I like her, too," she replied with a smile.

He absently reached out to pet Sunshine. His hand brushed hers, sending a jolt of electricity through her body. She jerked her hand back, causing a surprised whinny from Sunshine, who was adoring the attention. Backing up, she stammered, "I should probably be heading back to bed." And with that, she fled.

_Now why did you act like that?_ she scolded herself. Then she sighed. _Because I don't want anything happening between us._ Like it or not, he still had Zack's physical characteristics, if not his mental ones, and he was gorgeous.

__

No. He is not hot, he is not gorgeous, and you do not want him.

Right. Maybe if she told herself that enough times, she'd actually start to believe it.

Meanwhile, Adam was having internal conflicts of his own.

__

What did I do wrong? he asked himself. He had obviously done something, or she wouldn't have run off like that.

__

Maybe…He yawned._ Maybe…_ But he was too tired to think rationally._ Maybe I'd better go to sleep. _So he did.

He dreamt about Janie. Except she wasn't Janie. She was someone else, someone he used to know. He saw himself dancing with her… kissing her… making love to her…

It didn't make any sense. Did it really happen, or did he just want it to happen? He didn't know. Finally, he decided his unconsciousness had created this fantasy just to torture him. And it was working. God, was it working.

~*~

Jondy woke up -- wait, when was she sleeping? She thought back, and realized that Mary's dinner must have contained more tryptophan than she had initially thought. Between that and not eating the day before, her body had decided it was time to sleep and catch up on the energy it had lost, minimal though it was.

She sat up and stretched. A slight frown creased her forehead as the events of yesterday came flooding back. Finding Zack. Finding out Zack wasn't Zack. Calling Logan. Getting stuck here. Oh yeah, things were just great.

She stood up and walked over to the window, drawing back the curtains. The sun was well on its course of ascension, making her believe it was somewhere around eleven o'clock. Far below, she could see Buddy and Zack chopping wood. No. Not Zack. Adam. She had to remember that, or she might let something slip.

She changed clothes, pulling some fresh ones from her backpack and throwing the dirty clothes on the floor. She made the bed, then looked at the clothes still lying despondently on a heap on the floor. Quickly, she shoved the pile under the bed and headed downstairs. She'd deal with the problem of laundry later.

"Well, hello, dearie!" Mary greeted her cheerfully.

"Hi, Mary," she replied, smiling. Now that she'd had some sleep, she could better deal with cheerful people.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you."

Somehow, before she realized what was happening, she found herself sitting at a table with a plate of pancakes in front of her. "Um…thank you?" 

"You're welcome, dearie," Mary replied, still jovial, bustling about the kitchen.

As Jondy ate, she watched the two men work. Za--Adam's strokes with the ax were smooth and practiced. She watched his muscles flex as he swung. He was really -- But she didn't allow herself to complete the thought. He stopped for a moment, smiling at something Buddy said and saying something back, before resuming his labor.

She looked up, and caught Mary staring at her, an odd look on her face. "What?"

Mary just shook her head and smiled. "Nothing, dear."

But Jondy knew exactly what that look meant.

_Oh, great. Now she thinks I have the hots for him. That's just peachy._

As soon as she had helped Mary clean up in the kitchen, she slipped into her jacket and walked outside.

"Hey, guys," she said with a smile.

Buddy smiled back at her. "Why, hello, Janie! And how are you doing this fine afternoon?"

"I'm doing just great, thank you. And yourself?"

Oh, God. She was starting to catch the cheerfulness vibe, and it was seriously scaring her.

"Well, I'm doin' just fine." More smiles.

Buddy and Adam went back to their work. But a few minutes later, she heard Buddy grunt in pain. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"It's nothin'," he assured her. "Just my arthritis actin' up."

"Why don't you go inside?" she suggested. "I can take it from here."

He seemed a little hesitant to let such a delicate girl like herself do any hard labor, but finally he agreed and went inside.

As Jondy bent over to pick up the ax, Adam cautioned, "Watch out, it's heavy."

She picked it up and swung it experimentally a few times. Smiling at Adam's shock, she joked, "Are you kidding? It's nothing." She lifted the ax over her head and swung down. The ax hit the wood with a solid _thunk_ and stayed there, deeply embedded and nearly cracking the wood in half.

Jondy frowned at it. She had been _trying_ to split the wood all the way through. She looked up to find Zack staring at her. No, not Zack. Adam. Adam, who had never had military training, never been outside of…nowhere, and never eaten Chinese food for breakfast. "What?" she asked, trying to smile. "Haven't you ever seen a girl lift an ax before?"

And she had been doing so well, too.

~*~


	5. Sweet Little Thing

...  
  
It had officially been a week since her arrival. Buddy was installing her new carburetor, and things were starting to look up. Or so she thought. Actually, now that she thought about it, things weren't looking up. Logan still had his head up his ass, and she still hadn't figured out how to deal with the possibility of Zack's memory coming back. Or worse, the possibility of White coming after him.  
  
All Buddy knew about her "situation" was that she had no place to go. She only knew one place she wasn't going, at least for a while, and that was Seattle. Other than that, she was open to suggestions. As much as she hated being in the middle of nowhere, she had to admit that it was a good place to hide. After all, what were the odds of a genetically engineered soldier being found at a farm? About two out of twelve.  
  
She smiled to herself and went back to brushing Sunshine. The horse whinnied and tossed her head happily. She loved getting brushed. Jondy smiled and rubbed the horse's muzzle affectionately. She would miss Sunshine. She had taken to riding her almost every day once Buddy had found out she could ride.  
  
The sound of footsteps behind her interrupted her thoughts. She turned around. Buddy was standing there, wiping his hands with a rag. "Hey, Buddy."  
  
"Hello, Janie," he said. "Well, your bike's lookin' good. Just put in the new carburetor, and the engine's purrin' like a kitten."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Yep." He paused, clearing his throat. "Um, Janie, we were wonderin', Mary and I, if you'd like to stay with us and work on the farm."  
  
Work. On a farm. Riiight.  
  
But, on the other hand, this would enable her to keep an eye on Zack. That way, if his memory started to come back, she'd be able to help him out. Of course, that would also mean that she would have to reveal who she was, but by that point, he'd probably remember himself. That way, he'd also have a little help if White came sniffing around.  
  
"I mean, we wouldn't be able to pay you a lot," he continued, "but you'd get free room and board here, and plenty to eat. And you mentioned that you were between jobs—"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
He smiled, obviously relieved. "Well, now, that's just wonderful."  
  
"I should warn you," she said, "that I'm not much good outside of horses and cleaning dishes. I mean, if you expect me to milk a cow or anything, that's way out of my league."  
  
He chuckled. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that. Me and Adam pretty much got that covered."  
  
"Got what covered?" 'Adam' asked, entering the stables.  
  
Buddy nodded to her, motioning that she should be the one to share the good news.  
  
"Buddy offered me a job here."  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Did you accept?"  
  
"Of course," she said with a grin.  
  
A smile hinted at his lips. "So you're really staying?" Maybe it was just her imagination, but she thought he sounded almost...hopeful.  
  
"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I'm really staying."  
  
Well, that's it, folks, she thought. Now it's official.  
  
...  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's me. I'm staying out here."  
  
"Jondy..."  
  
"Don't 'Jondy' me, Logan. You're the one who put him in this position in the first place. Buddy offered me a job, and I accepted. Besides, if Zack does start to remember, I'll be here to help him. And to make sure he doesn't compromise the others. I'm out."  
  
She hung up before he could argue.  
  
... 


	6. Do I Know You?

Author's Note: Well, I'm back! It's been a while, I know (about three YEARS), but better late than never, right? I revamped this chapter, and hopefully there will be a lot more on the way. Thanks for your patience! And please review! :-)

...

Christmas was coming. Jondy hated Christmas. It was all hype, anyway. A fat guy in a red suit coming down the chimney and leaving presents. It was sad, really. Especially considering the fact that the fat guy, Santa Claus or whatever, had been invented by Coca-Cola. What a thing to base a holiday on.

She shook her head, shrugging into her jacket. Whatever. Norms were weird like that. As if that wasn't bad enough, the farmer folk were having a Christmas party. Oh, joy. "Kill me now," she muttered.

"Going somewhere?" Adam asked, emerging from the doorway behind her.

She hated to admit it, but it was getting easier and easier to think of the person who stood before her now as someone completely different from her former CO and lover. They shared the same face; hell, technically, they _were_ the same person, but they weren't. It was like they were identical twins or something.

"Just out for a walk," she said with a smile that was only partly forced. Truth was, she was getting rusty. She had found a nice little clearing a little ways down the road that was good for practicing her moves. The snow didn't bother her. Really.

Then he asked, "Mind if I join you?"

Jondy wondered if there was a polite way to say "no." Nope, there wasn't. "Sure." Oh, well. One less day of practice.

As they walked along, their boots crunched in the snow. It was the only sound to penetrate the silence that had settled around them. Jondy wasn't in the mood for small talk; apparently, neither was Adam. Then why did he ask to go with her in the first place? Was she missing something?

Finally, he did say something. "Janie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Avoiding her gaze, he said, "I know this sounds kind of stupid, but…I don't know."

Suddenly, she had a sinking feeling that she knew what he was going to ask. "What is it?" Her voice was steady and didn't waver. Brownie point for her.

"Do I…" He took a deep breath. "Do I know you? From before, I mean."

Now he was looking at her, and his gaze was making her uncomfortable. She fought the urge to look away. "No. No, I'm sure I'd remember," she said, looking directly at him. Always make eye contact when you're lying, isn't that what they had taught her?

They stood staring at each other for a moment, their breaths coming out in fleeting puffs of air. Adam broke eye contact first. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I just… I had to ask."

Impulsively, she reached out and touched his arm. "It's okay." Damn, did she feel like a bitch now. She wondered what his reaction would have been had she told him in the truth.

"Know you? _Know you_? Not only have we known each other since before we could talk, but we're both genetically engineered freaks trained as soldiers. In fact, you were our CO. Everyone was always talking behind your back about what a hardass you were. But then we escaped in '09. Then you became even more of a hardass than you already were, making sure we moved at least every six months and had no friends whatsoever. Did I mention we've been sleeping together for the past year?"

Oh, yeah. That would go over well.

Jondy realized that sooner or later she was going to have to find out what Zack—Adam—remembered. No time like the present, right? No day but today. _Well, here goes nothing…_ "You really don't remember anything about your life from before?"

He shook his head, staring straight ahead. "Sometimes I think I do, but I can't tell if it's real or just a dream."

Jondy was treading on fragile ground, but she asked the next question anyway. "Did you dream about me? Is that why you asked…"

"Yeah."

"What did you dream about me?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized the potential for embarrassment. But it was too late.

Zack—_Adam_—turned a deep red, staring steadfastly at the ground. Jondy was wishing she could disappear herself. Or that the ground would choose this time to open up and swallow her. Or at least for some bad guys to show up so she could kick their asses. Anything to get way, way past the awkward moment they were having now.

"Never mind," she said quickly. "I can guess. So, what else have you dreamed about?"

Zero points for subtlety, but Zack/Adam didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he was just glad for the change in topic. "Mostly just faces. And numbers."

"Numbers?" She tried not to sound overly interested, but it looked like he was in his own little world anyway.

"Yeah. It was like…everyone had a number instead of a name."

Jondy made a noncommittal noise, her mind racing. As long as Zack-as-Adam kept thinking they were just dreams, everything was fine, assuming White stayed out of the picture. But how long would it take him to realize that it was more than a little odd to be having similar dreams night after night about a strange place that seemed to be some sort of boot camp for toddlers? Considering his IQ was off the charts, not long. Well, she'd just have to cross that bridge when she came to it.

"It's probably nothing," she said finally, attempting to sound nonchalant. "The human mind"—or mostly human mind, anyway—"works in strange and mysterious ways. I wouldn't worry about it. At least you have people who care about you." She looked at her watch. "Anyway, we'd better get back. I think Buddy wanted to teach me how to milk the cow or something."

...


	7. A Nice Girl Chat

...  
  
"So, Janie dear, are you looking forward to the Christmas party?"  
  
_Oh yes, much like in the way people look forward to root canals._ What she said aloud was, "Sure. Who else is going to be there?"  
  
"Oh, well, the Smiths—and they have two daughters about your age, Jess and Dora—the Blackwells, and I think the Montgomerys."  
  
Informative, but unhelpful. What Jondy really wanted to know was if there would be anyone there who, like her, was not all he seemed to be, and if so, whether or not he was a bad guy. But that's not the sort of thing that polite society allows one to come right out and ask.  
  
"The Smiths will be getting here a little early," Mary continued, "and maybe you can have a nice girl chat with Jess and Dora."  
  
_A nice girl chat? As if._  
  
...  
  
Three hours later, she found herself all but strapped to a chair as two blonde, blue-eyed girls hovered over her, arguing companionably about whether she was a Spring or a Summer. The twins had already forced her out of her favorite sweatshirt (stolen from Syl) and into a soft blue turtlenecked sweater. They had tried to get her into a skirt as well, but there she drew the line. "If the jeans go, I go." The final straw, though, was the curlers, bright pink jobs obtruding from all over her head. She was pretty sure this was the Hell of Good Intentions people kept talking about. Luckily, she had had her tattoo removed in Portland about a week ago. Even if they saw any traces of her barcode, they probably assumed it was the result of some childhood disease that she didn't want to talk about. Which, in a way, it was.  
  
Now Jess and Dora were trying to slather makeup on her. "Close your eyes," one of them—Jess?—commanded, wielding a small brush with lilac-gray eyeshadow smeared on it while the other rummaged through her makeup kit for eyeliner.  
  
Jondy obeyed, albeit reluctantly. Still, it was either this or socializing with people whose favorite topics of conversation revolved around barnyard animals. "You know," she said, "I prefer doing my own eye makeup, because people tend to—yeow!" The eyeliner pencil had strayed into her eye. "Poke me in the eye," she finished.  
  
"Sorry," Dora said sheepishly.  
  
Jondy tried to figure out some way to work the current situation to her advantage. What did these girls know that she didn't? More to the point, what did she need to know that they already knew? She decided to probe the waters.  
  
"So, um, how long has Adam been working for Buddy?"  
  
She knew what that question would sound like, but she didn't care. She needed to know how well Logan had covered his tracks.  
  
The two girls giggled, clearly thinking that Jondy had a crush on Adam. "Well, now," said Jess with mock thoughtfulness, "I don't know, since we hardly ever see Buddy and Mary 'less it's a holiday or somethin'. But I think he's been here about three years."  
  
More likely, Buddy had simply mentioned that Adam had been there three years, and the power of suggestion had done the rest. Especially since less than a year ago Zack had been with Jondy in Seattle. But whatever. As long as they believed it was three years, everything jived and it was all good.  
  
Half an hour later, Jess and Dora finished their mayhem. "Ta-da!" Jess sang, spinning her around to face the mirror.  
  
Jondy had to admit, she didn't look half as bad with the pink cylindrical monsters out. Honey blonde curls bobbled gently around her face. And despite Dora's unsteady hand, the smoky eyeliner did wonders to bring out her eyes. She looked _good._ "Wow. Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome," the girls chorused, grinning.  
  
"All right, so let's go join the party."  
  
The trio made their way down the stairs, the twins talking and giggling excitedly while Jondy half-listened. Most of her attention was focused on scoping out the room, looking for anything or anyone that didn't fit. Besides her.  
  
She saw Mary, who smiled and waved. Next to her was Buddy, talking to someone who could have been his taller, slightly thinner twin, along with a dark-haired woman who must have been his wife. Across the room were the extremely Nordic Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the twins' parents, whom Jondy had met earlier. Chatting with them was a couple who looked exactly like the one in that painting with the farmer holding the pitchfork and his austere wife beside him. Clustered near the table piled with food were three young men she didn't recognize, probably farmhands. She didn't see Adam anywhere.  
  
"C'mon, I'll introduce you to everybody," Jess said, tugging Jondy's arm towards the food-laden table.  
  
"We'll introduce you to everybody," Dora corrected demurely. Jess stuck her tongue out at her.  
  
"Whatever. Hey guys!" Jess yelled, waving at the three guys. One waved back, all of them surrendering their defensive positions around the food and ambling towards them.  
  
"Hey Jess," said the one who'd waved. "How's it goin'?"  
  
"It's goin' all right," she said, smiling flirtatiously at the boy. "This here's Janie. She's workin' for the Johnsons."  
  
"Doin' what?" another boy asked. "Cookin' and cleanin'?"  
  
Jondy raised her eyebrows. Feminist minds these were not. "Actually, I work on the farm. I take care of the horses."  
  
"I heard you were from the city," the third boy chimed in, looking rather overexcited about the fact. Jondy suspected he had heard stories about how easy city girls were. Well, he could think whatever he wanted, as long as he didn't try anything.  
  
"I've lived all over the country. But yes, the last place I lived was the city."  
  
She didn't want to say which city, in case one or more of these farmboys turned out to be an agent for one of the many people hunting her. Or in case one of the said agents happened to pick up her trail here and decided to question them.  
  
"Janie," Dora broke in brusquely, "this here is Hank," she nodded to the boy who had waved to Jess, "Will," she motioned to the forward thinker, "and Jimmy," she pointed to the one who had wanted to know if she was from the city. All three smelled faintly of beer.  
  
Soon Jess had wandered away with Hank, and Dora with Will. That left Jondy sitting with Jimmy Ain't-You-From-The-City. "So," she asked brightly, "have you lived your whole life in Gainesville?"  
  
"Naw, I'm from Waterville." Waterville was approximately two miles outside of Gainesville. The only thing that differentiated them was that Waterville had a sign saying "Welcome to Waterville." You can guess what Gainesville's sign said.  
  
Throughout their conversation, Jimmy kept touching her leg. She tried to gracefully move away, but he didn't get the hint. Finally, she stood up and said, "Look, don't touch my leg, okay?"  
  
He stood up too, albeit unsteadily. "How about here then?" he said, smirking, as his hand moved to grope her ass.  
  
Jondy gritted her teeth. "If you don't move your hand—and I mean right now—you're going to see how well city girls can kick ass. Got it?"  
  
"I'd like to see that," Jimmy slurred, still leering.  
  
"I'm sure you would," Jondy muttered. She took a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, then drove the heel of her hand into Jimmy's solar plexus.  
  
He yelped and doubled over. "You _bitch!_" he gasped, the air driven out of his lungs.  
  
"Yeah," Jondy agreed. "I get that a lot."  
  
She looked up as Dora rushed over, dragging Will by the hand. "Jimmy, are you okay?"  
  
"I think he had too much to drink," Jondy volunteered helpfully.  
  
Dora turned to her companion. "Will, could you and Hank take Jimmy home?"  
  
Will nodded. "Sure thing, Dora. Be back in a jiffy." As he called for Hank to come over, Dora casually leaned over to Jondy and said under her breath, "He tried something, didn't he?"  
  
Jondy looked at her, surprised, as Will and Hank dragged Jimmy out. She had assumed that Dora was merely a quieter version of her sister, a mindless flirt. Now she was beginning to see that she might have been mistaken. "Yeah, he did," she answered at last.  
  
Dora nodded. "Good for you."  
  
Mary approached them, looking worried. "Is that boy okay?"  
  
"He's fine," Jondy said quickly. "Just a little too much to drink is all."  
  
Mary looked relieved. "Oh, good. I was worried it was my cookin'."  
  
...


End file.
